How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
its liver damage thursday
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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