so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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