I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
