Whod you bang
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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