My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
