i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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