i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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