come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
