Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
