Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
