why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
