yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
