hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
