on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
A+ Viking dick
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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