I showed him my bush... on skype.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize