My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
