CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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