her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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