You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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