Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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