I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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