The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
