then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
