Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
