O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
