using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
