"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
