Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
