operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
