I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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