I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
