Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
