she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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