fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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