love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
