just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
