i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
