I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
