she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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