so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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