Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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