i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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