if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
