I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
