I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This baby is an asshole
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
