Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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