I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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