i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
