I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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