i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize