Pappa wants mamma naked
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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