i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
