I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
