I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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