I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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