you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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