So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
