2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
