do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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