from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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