508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
