Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
