he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize