Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
